This Story's Pages: the experiences that build us

Hi Everyone,

Sometimes, in the morning, in that state of being between dream and reality, I am amazed that we are all made of skin, bones, and a lot of water. It seems unreal, a story made up by scientist, that we’re all made of the same stuff, and yet our experiences are so different. It feels much more plausible that we are made of our experiences; lungs from the moments that take our breath away, eyes from the images we can’t forget, ears from music. That somehow these experiences form us, one organ at a time.

The past two months have been filled with special experiences. Towards the end of February, I had the opportunity to participate in a livelihoods development workshop with some of the community leaders from organizations Bantwana supports. The idea is that with some start-up support and more information on productive farming techniques and collective marketing, farmers can make an income for their families and move beyond subsistence farming. At the workshop, I learned a lot about organic farming, which is the most cost-efficient in Western Uganda, a place with plenty of rain and fertile soil. During the practical session, we learned how to dig a trench for water conservation and plant a vegetable garden for improved nutrition. There is something special about being closer to the food we eat, to experiencing where it comes from, the labor that goes into it. Perhaps the vitamins from these vegetable gives us strength because they reflect the strength of the hands who cultivate them.

At the end of February, Pierre and I both traveled to visit our families. Pierre went to France and I went to the US. Seeing my parents after 6 months was really nice. There is something warm and comforting about being taken care of by your parents, even in the middle of winter. Parent’s unconditional love builds that part of the heart that allows us to love other unconditionally; I do not have the science to prove it, but I know it my heart it is true. Between enjoying work with my Boston colleagues and friends, catching up with friends, a conference in Chicago, a brief visit to Toronto, and enjoying time with my parents and Lior, time really flew by. My good friends, Sheede, Lindsey, and Joanna, organized a very sweet bridal shower for me, and all the recipes, advice, and love I received have integrated into various parts of me, from my taste buds to my toes, and have helped me feel like part of a community of women in the universal transformation we all experience from daughter to woman.

Coming back to Uganda felt great, a coming home of sorts. Pierre and I were happy to finally get to spend some time with our new cat, Chapatti. She is a kitten from my old cat in Gulu, Kuch. Chapatti is a bundle of energy; she is always running or climbing the curtains, and she provides endless entertainment. We’ve also moved to a new house, just two minutes down the street, so I can still see my favorite kids. It is a bigger and nicer house, so we now have a guest room and expect guests. Building a home with Pierre, our very first, buying chairs and planning where to hang pictures, is the calcium that makes my bones sing. It is the foundation of this shared life, and it is wonderful.

Shortly after coming back to Uganda, we were invited to my colleague Ben’s wedding. We made the trip to Fort Portal and attended the ceremony in a village just outside the city. The setting was beautiful, colorful arrangements of flowers and white tents, set to the background of the mountains. The ceremony itself is a negotiation between the man’s family asking the woman’s family for permission to wed. Ben’s family brought many crates of soda and packs of local brew, but the woman’s family kept asking for more because Olive, Ben’s soon to be wife, is well educated and a beautiful woman. The negotiation went on for a while. Each time Ben’s family spoke they knelt down on a cow skin, and when they walked away, they walked backwards, never turning their back as a sign of respect. Finally, when the price was agreed upon, the woman’s family brought out a line of girls for Ben to choose from. The first line of girls they brought were very young, all part of the show. Ben said they should go back to school. The second line of girls was older, but still Olive was not there, so Ben politely asked to see more girls. Finally, in the third line of girls, Olive was there, looking stunning, and Ben picked her. The families agreed and they exchanged rings and signed a marriage contract. Just seconds after the last ceremonial part, the rain started, perfect timing. We had a meal at Ben’s home. The ceremony was really beautiful, a real exchange between two families, another experience for the heart. Sometimes, these days, I think that the heart must be ever-growing until our bodies can’t hold everything anymore, and then, I don’t know.

On the way back from Fort Portal, we visited our friend Nathan. Together we went to visit the five girls we are supporting to be in school. It was lovely to see them. They met us with hugs and smiles. We listened to what classes they like and do not like, and which clubs they want to try out. It was lovely to see these young girls, who weeks ago were at home, feeling so happy at school. Appreciation for education, that’s a cell in my brain that forever has a picture of our five students and a feeling of their hugs. The fear in my stomach, that I can’t really make a difference, it fades when I am with these girls at their new school. Funny, that from all places in the body, contemplation, and sometimes the anxiety that comes with it, surface in the stomach. We wished the girls luck on their exams and made the journey back to Kampala.

We also stopped by and visited our friend and new business partner, Justus. We’re starting a business together that buys maize from farmers (at a fair price) and then processes the maize into maize flour, for the Ugandan meal posho. We’re just starting and learning, but we hope in time, we can set up a sustainable, social business that contributes to the wellbeing of farmers in Uganda.

Now, just weeks away from the wedding, we are getting really excited, and also continue to enjoy our life here.

Hope you have a time of wonderful experiences.

Thanks for being in my life,

Inbal

From the bridal shower in Needham