May 21, 2013
Have you ever noticed that death is our best teacher to
really live? If we had countless days in the world, would we make the most of
each one? After the loss of someone we love, we all try to live a bit better,
to love more, to laugh more often, to enjoy the time we have. The challenges in
our lives, the sad parts, the holes in our hearts, create a contrast with the
joy, love, and beauty we experience and it extenuates them, makes them more
meaningful. The loss of my father a year and a half ago was so huge that
sometimes it feels like more than a lesson in living but re-learning what life
really means to me. For the past few months, I have been trying to get closer
to the things that really matter to me.
Early in the year, we made a big decision for Pierre to
apply for PHD programs in education. Later in the year, we got the good news
that Pierre was accepted at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, and we’ll
be heading back to the Boston area in the summer. Knowing that our time in
Uganda was nearing an end has transformed the last few months here. Preparing
to leave a place helps to see all the things that you love in it. Kampala has
really been our home. We came here a young couple. In our time here, we’ve been
married, we’ve made friends, we’ve lost my dad, we’ve added Daniela to our
family, we’ve travelled, we’ve learned, we’ve made mistakes, and we’ve
intertwined our lives with people in our paths. As I walk down our bumpy road
these days, I try to capture all the people that I see each day, their smiles,
their waves of hi, their work, and their chats are more than just scenery along
the path, but the environment of my home. In the last few months here, we’ve
tried to enjoy our everyday life here, and with lots of visitors, we have also
gone to see places we had not seen yet in this beautiful country. Pierre has
also started a local language literacy initiative called Education Solutions
Uganda. It has been wonderful to see him doing something he loves and believes
in and to be able to support his efforts. The first local language books he
produced are in Rutooro, a language in Western Uganda, and we’re in the process
of getting them to schools.
For me, I have been trying to do more things I love. I’ve
done a lot more writing. I am 4-5 chapters away from finishing my first novel.
It is a short novel for young adults focusing on the life of an adolescent girl
in rural Uganda. It has been a ton of fun to write it, and I hope in time it
can get published and help to raise awareness about important girl education
and health issues in Uganda and Africa. I’ve also been writing children’s
stories, which I love to write, and I hope someday Daniela can read them too.
I’ve been taking photography lessons, trying to call friends and family more
often, and generally do the things that make me happy.
As for Daniela, she is the best teacher. Children are the
best teachers for re-learning to live. She is just full of joy and love, and
she proves to me daily that it is all one really needs. She is so full of
goodness that sometimes at the end of the day, when Pierre or I come home, she
just can’t contain it, and it spills over in little dances, kisses, hugs,
mumbles of joy, and hands up high. I’ve been able to work part time and spend
more time with Daniela, and now that she is talking and walking, we have a ton
of fun together. We read books and play games, and there is nothing better than
the whole family dancing to Baby Love
in our living room. I recently read that Ann Lamont wrote that “What people
somehow forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes
in order to find out who we are and why we are here... So go ahead and make big
scrawls and mistakes. Use up lots of paper."
In re-learning how to
live, I am amazed at how much my Abush is still a part of my life. I think of
him all the time, and through his life and his example, he guides me and he
gives me courage. It always bring me back to the realization that what we leave
behind is love. Our greatest contribution is the love we give to others, and
re-learning to live is simply making room and opportunities for that love to
flow.
Yesterday, on the one and a half year anniversary of my
father’s death, Zach Sobiech, a young and beautiful soul, died of a rare
cancer. The video of how he chose to live his last days (http://www.upworthy.com/this-kid-just-died-what-he-left-behind-is-wondtacular-rip?c=ufb1)
touched me in a special way. As he said “you don’t have to find out that you
are dying to start living.” Because somehow, all of us, we are always in the
process of dying and we never know when it will be, and it is doing what we love
that brings us to life. It may sound selfish, but I’ve learned it is actual the
best we can do for others. Howard Thurman once said, and I could not agree
more, "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes
you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who
have come alive."
Thank you for being in my life
Inbal
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